Tired in the Soul

This is a blog about release.  I said to my partner the other day that I was 'tired in the soul'.  What does that mean? Well, as I put it, I was not overly physically tired.  Yes I am tired, but I am not physically exhausted.  Tired in the soul means that I am tired of the constant everything.  Not making much sense yet, am I.  Well that is what this blog is going to be about: not a horrible lot of sense, but a lot of just getting IT out.

By IT I mean frustration in general.  So you could see this blog as just getting garbage off my mind.  If that is all it ends up, then all well and good, I have got it out of my mind, and I may not be quite so tired in the soul.  On the other hand, you could dare to see this as someone expressing what a lot of other people are thinking, but not saying.  It is a bit like common sense.  We say things are common sense because we think that the majority of people think that way.  But common sense isn't, it is an endangered species.  And to make matters worse, those that think common sense is, well, common sense, don't go looking or voicing that it should be.

So one of the first things I want to 'release' is what I am.  I am a mongrel.  I don't mean that in the horrible person, deserves to be locked up sort of way, I mean it in the bitsa way.  I am so many contradictions, that I don't fit any particular mould.  I am sure that there are a lot of other people out there also who fit the above description.  So here is a sample of how I don't fit.

I am almost-but-not-quite-yet-middle-aged.  But I don't feel that I have 'matured'.  I look in the mirror and still think I see the guy who still hasn't got a clue about what he is going to do with his life.

I am professionally educated.  But I am not professional employed.  In fact I earn markedly below the 'Average adult earnings' in my country, and work two jobs to do so.

I am in to IS [Information Systems].  But I don't 'live' IT, and cant bring myself to play computer games.

I understand and wish we could do something significant for the environment,  But I also understand that to really do something for the environment, we would have to majorly change the way we live, reduce the things that we have and do a lot, and cut global population buy about 90% to make it indefinitely sustainable.

I think that the first world spends too much money on the military.  But I also appreciate the necessity to have a trained and equipped defense force.  To put it in the school yard context, you can get everyone to say that they wont be the bully and bash some other kid for their lunch money, but all it takes is one bully to lie and do something when you least expect it.

I believe in a free market.  But I don't think that gives big business the right to squash small business or to demand unacceptable values for raw materials.

I believe in intellectual property.  But I don't think that gives the right to lock up ideas for decades.

I think a lot of other contradictions as well, but this has been a good place to start.  Perhaps I will elaborate on some of these in the future.  Comment if you wish.  Be aware that I will likely offend someone in some way eventually.

...still frustrated.